Chipped.
~
6.04.2009
Labels:
relationships
In the 20 years of living I've done I can confidently look back and say I have never had my heart broken. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing but it has definitely been on my mind on and off since Saturday. I've never fully let anyone so far past all of the gates that protect my heart and my feelings where I feel completely vulnerable when I could be hurt. I was ready though, but it's hard to love that way when you have been loving with training wheels your whole life. I don't know why it was that he left and decided that I wasn't for him. I don't know if it was me or if it was him, or a combination of the two but at the risk like sounding like rehashed rap lyrics I was ready to give him all of the keys. My mind was elsewhere, not prepared but it was willing. My heart was ready but I didn't know how to love how he wanted to be loved. I would open up and tell him how I felt then I would back peddle to protect it. He didn't break my heart but he definitely chipped it. I wish I could have gotten it together.
3 comments:
count yourself really lucky. heartbreak fucks you over for a really, really long time.
So in other words, you're like a virgin emotionally. On the path to being who you will eventually become, nothing has a greater impact on the new you as much as experiencing the joys of heartache. For me, it was the most humbling experience of my life and the exact moment when I realized I know nothing about the strange universe we live in. It's strange but you actually become more in-tune with yourself while dealing with your dependency/infatuation/lust/need for another human being who has rejected your offering of companionship. In the end it makes you stronger and eradicates some of that youthful naive spirit we're all full of. Mine was years ago, and since then we've both gone in different directions. Her, catching felonies, having kids, being in an abusive relationship. Me, just traveling the world, getting money, etc. I look back, sligtly older and much wiser and see where things went wrong but at the end of the day, it made me who I am. So here's to you and your first heartbreak whenever it occurs. We'll be there on Twitter to walk you through it.
Of course your heart has never been broken...because you are a slut.
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